Are pathological liars dangerous12/27/2023 However, the most important thing you can do is respect yourself. When you are in a relationship with someone who lies as easily as they breathe, it can be very hard to be patient, offer help and ignore them. ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄Īll of these tips are purely unbiased. You still subtly let them know you’re onto them without having to be mean. Even if they choose the latter option, stay calm. They will have two choices: They can either own up to the lie, or try to convince you that both stories are fact. If your loved one says something you know is not true, politely ask if the story is as true as the story about. Granted, this isn’t an invitation to be cruel to them, but rather an opportunity to tune out the ridiculous claims. If they aren’t going to respect you, you don’t need to respect them. Sure, we are supposed to be considerate of other people and pay attention to what they say, but no one encourages you to entertain a liar. You know half of what they’re saying is utter nonsense, so why even pay attention. Here’s the thing, when a chronic liar is talking, it’s usually hard to pay attention anyway. If you truly want to make the relationship work, you have to keep the attention on the quality of the relationship, not just on the quantity of lies. Try to focus on the relationship, not the rage. Unfortunately, this doesn’t do either of you any good. When the chronic liar is a relative or spouse, it can become very easy to focus only on how upsetting it is that they lie all the time. Instead, listen closely to the details of the exchange and pause the conversation to ask about a detail you feel is a lie. When you’re having a conversation with a chronic liar, don’t immediately confront them about huge lies they have told in the past. If you better understand what motivates a chronic liar, you will more easily be able to talk with one. Don’t worry, you don’t need to get a psychology degree, but you should do a little research. Unless you understand chronic lying, you won’t be able to adequately approach or confront one. Before it comes to that, the following steps may help you deal with the situation. Obviously, the last thing you want to do is cut ties with a family member, but unfortunately, you may have to. In other words, it’s not the that wreaks the most emotional havoc, it’s the…ongoing denial of reality. And this pain is exacerbated if/when the innocent partner is made to feel as if he or she is misperceiving reality and therefore crazy, weak, damaged, etc. …it’s the destruction of relationship trust caused by the constant lying, deflecting, secret keeping, and misplaced blame. No relationship can function in this scenario. With the hesitation to confront someone you think it lying, you can start to feel paranoid and wonder if you’re being overly-suspicious. In fact, there isn’t much reward in doing this, as they will most likely continue to lie and the strained relationship will only get worse. More so, chronic lying is usually a symptom of a personality disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder.Ĭonfrontation typically feels like the right thing to do if you’re suspicious that your loved one is lying, but that can be tricky. For the person doing the lying, it can provide an escape from discomfort and help them to feel safe. Other times, it can be difficult to spot because you are so personally involved. Sometimes the lies may be so grandiose that it’s obvious a person is lying. It can be difficult to spot when love is involved Thankfully chronic liars are not dangerous or manipulative, but certainly frustrating. Most of the time, the lies are pointless and it can be difficult to understand why they felt a lie was necessary. A chronic liar is a compulsive liar, or someone who lies out of habit as a natural way to respond to questions. While everyone lies at some point, trying to love someone who lies in a chronic way can be challenging. But sometimes the person who lies, and lies often, is a relative. For the most part, spotting a liar is simple, and we can easily disassociate with that person. It doesn’t take a statistic to know that is a fact.
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